Hands down I can say that becoming a mother has been the best thing that has EVER happened to me (sorry Mitch haha).
There are times I look at Cole and literally think my heart might burst into a million pieces. I am still trying to figure out a way to bottle up his scent so I can keep it forever. Is that creepy? Maybe. But it’s true.
I feel like after I had Cole something clicked. I felt like I finally knew who I was.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I liked the same things that I do now and had the same interests but after having Cole I had a much better understanding of the kind of person I wanted to be, what kind of people I wanted in my life and what I would tolerate. Because now it wasn’t just my life that was being affected by the people around me – it was Cole’s life too.
I have lost quite a few friends after becoming a mom. For some single friends that I had they just didn’t get it. Because there are certain things that you won’t understand until you are a mother yourself. Like… Why couldn’t I go into the city at 9 pm when I had a 2 month old at home? Could I have made it work? Probably. But mentally did I feel like I could leave my brand new baby at home? No. Cole’s my first babe. I wasn’t at that point. Not to mention I was dealing with the baby blues and just didn’t feel like myself. I needed a friend to understand that – not to hold my choices against me and say I was using my child as an “excuse.” And if you’re friends don’t get it – trust me, you are better off without them.
With that being said – If you are having a hard time after having your baby – it’s ok. A lot of women do. I did. Talk to the people around you and get help if you need it. Remember that a happy mama is best for the baby. So if you need to take time for yourself DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!! We still need to take care of ourselves. Do not lose yourself in motherhood. Don’t take that they wrong way – but remember who you were before you had the baby. Did you paint? Did you work out? Did you cook? Continue to make time for the other pieces of yourself. I have always loved to do my makeup. So a lot of times I wake up before Cole just so I can throw some makeup on. That might seem weird to some people but I feel so much better throughout the day. So continue to make time for the little things that make you happy. You are important, too. Don’t ever forget that.
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and becoming a mother has totally made me appreciate the other mothers around me.
My own mother – raising FIVE kids. My grandmother – raising FIVE kids – ALONE! Like…wow… I can’t even wrap my mind around it. Those aren’t just mothers – those are superheroes. I have ONE and there are many days where I have to throw my hands up and ask God to help me get through the day. A lot of times these moments happen at 9:30 am… not gonna lie.
And can i just call out those moms that are trying to paint this picture that they have the perfect life and the perfect kids and the spotless house. Like, cmon. Are you for real?
I am not one to sit here and pretend like motherhood is glamorous. Is it fulfilling? TOTALLY. Glamorous? No. Hell no. Like, the many times when you just changed a poopy diaper and you still smell poop *lingering* somewhere…. only to find it later on your clothes or in your hair. It happens. Don’t be one of those moms that acts like she hasn’t been there. We’ve ALL been there. If you’re looking at someone’s instagram or facebook and thinking “Man, I wish I had her life” or “I wish I could make it work as well as she does” STOP YOURSELF and remember – she might look like she has the perfect life but she HAS had poop in her hair. She’s just pretending like she hasn’t.
If you are a new mom here is what I say to you. You have been given the most beautiful gift in the world. Cherish it. There will be days that you are going to cry in frustration. Those days you lean into your support system more, you pray to jesus and you open the wine early. You’ll get through it. Take time for yourself and remind yourself that you are doing a freaking awesome job.